Communication is one of my pet subjects
Many years ago I had a speech impediment and communication was a challenge, in my mind the words appeared perfectly however delivery was an issue . At times I found it easier not to talk, I was quiet and withdrawn making it hard to build relationships.
Looking back I am grateful for the lessons learned…. acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, perseverance and experiencing people who do not judge.
I also learned the value of communication to build relationships !
Speaking , listening and the written word allows us to make CONNECTIONS with others….
In my humble opinion there are 5 levels of communication:
1) Small talk – When you are out and about, a quick chat with the checkout operator or the stressed parent and child. It is validation you see them in that moment…sometimes it’s as simple as “have a nice day” – it may be your comments that turn their day around !
2) General – Work colleagues and general acquaintances you talk to in a little more depth for example about the TV show last night, what you did on the weekend etc, over time by sharing these stories you build rapport and become comfortable with each other.
3) Trusted – This is with family and close friends, you let them see YOU by sharing your hopes, dreams, highs and lows. Conversations flow easily and you are able to have difference of opinions without holding grudges (most of the time anyway!).
4) Intimate – Possibly with your partner, best friend or Mum/Dad, you are at your most vulnerable and trust is paramount – you share almost everything leading to a deep and meaningful relationship – this person knows, accepts and acknowledges YOU !
5) Just for me – We all have things that are just for me, our inner inner most thoughts where you are 100% vulnerable, you may be able to trust another at this level however I feel there is always a part we keep for ourselves. This is where keeping a journal, meditating and quite reflection is helpful to reconnect with self…..
I would encourage you to openly communicate to build AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS !
It goes without saying (well almost because I am saying it ) that how you deliver your communication is important.
- Be aware of your words, delivery and tone – watch for arrogance, aggression or apathy in your speech
- Give them your full attention
- Remember communication is a 2 way street, ask relevant questions & make comments
- Contribute to the conversation, let them see who YOU are
- Try to remember key points for next time you chat
- If it is not a suitable time to talk, tell the other person and ask if you can catch up later and suggest a time to suit both of you
Ok confession is good for the soul….
I have a healthy respect for the power of the written word HOWEVER up until 12 months ago I had dismissed Facebook as being a valid communication tool, admittedly I had never used Facebook but I believed it to be technology overload.
Well I admit I was wrroonnngg….I now acknowledge the benefits of Facebook to stay connected with your Friends – again I would not suggest sharing you innermost thoughts but it is another way of saying…I see you !
Until next time