Tools

The value of Communication

The value of Communication

Communication is one of my pet subjects

Many years ago I had a speech impediment and communication was a challenge, in my mind the words appeared perfectly however delivery was an issue  . At times I found it easier not to talk, I was quiet and withdrawn making it hard to build relationships.

Looking back I am grateful for the lessons learned…. acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, perseverance and experiencing people who do not judge. 

I also learned the value of communication to build relationships !

Speaking , listening and the written word allows us to make CONNECTIONS with others….

In my humble opinion there are 5 levels of communication:

1) Small talk – When you are out and about, a quick chat with the checkout operator or the stressed parent and child. It is validation you see them in that moment…sometimes it’s as simple as “have a nice day” – it may be your comments that turn their day around !

2) General – Work colleagues and general acquaintances you talk to in a little more depth  for example about the TV show last night, what you did on the weekend etc, over time by sharing these stories you build rapport and become comfortable with each other.

3) Trusted – This is with family and  close friends, you let them see YOU by sharing your hopes, dreams, highs and lows. Conversations flow easily and you are able to have difference of opinions without holding grudges (most of the time anyway!).

4) Intimate – Possibly with your partner, best friend or Mum/Dad,  you are at your most vulnerable and trust is paramount – you share almost everything leading to a deep and meaningful relationship – this person knows, accepts and acknowledges YOU !

5) Just for me  – We all have things that are just for me, our inner inner most thoughts where you are 100% vulnerable, you may be able to trust another at this level however I feel there is always a part we keep for ourselves. This is where keeping a journal, meditating and quite reflection is helpful to reconnect with self…..

I would encourage you to openly communicate to build AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS !  

It goes without saying (well almost because I am saying it  ) that how you deliver your communication is important.

  • Be aware of your words, delivery and tone – watch for arrogance, aggression or apathy in your speech
  • Give them your full attention
  • Remember communication is a 2 way street, ask relevant questions & make comments
  • Contribute to the conversation, let them see who YOU are
  • Try to remember key points for next time you chat
  • If it is not a suitable time to talk, tell the other person and ask if you can catch up later and suggest a time to suit both of you


Confession Time:

Ok confession is good for the soul….

I have a healthy respect for the power of the written word HOWEVER up until 12 months ago I had dismissed Facebook as being a valid communication tool, admittedly I had never used Facebook but I believed it to be technology overload.  

Well I admit I was wrroonnngg….I now acknowledge the benefits of Facebook to stay connected with your Friends – again I would not suggest sharing you innermost thoughts but it is another way of saying…I see you !

Until next time
Jenny xx

Gratitude

Gratitude

How do you feel when  you wake up in the morning ?

Do you feel like throwing the alarm out the window, do you want to stay in bed and shut the world out ???

Let’s change this with a simple 5 minute exercise.

When you wake up tomorrow morning firstly be grateful that you have woken up to share another  beautiful day and then think about 3 things that your are grateful for in your life right now.

You may be surprised to realise the things you are grateful for are very simple – the song playing on the radio, the briskness of the morning air, a great nights sleep  .

It really is how you choose to look at things !

Find a way to be grateful for what you have in your life right now !

These are  mine for today (note you can choose to use...I am grateful or I am thankful or I give thanks, whatever feels natural to you!):

1. I give thanks for the rainy weather that reminds me of my home town
2. I am grateful to spend the day with my grand child
3. I am thankful to have a blog where I can share my thoughts

After practicing this for a while you will start to see a shift in the way you look at things – instead of focusing on the negative you will naturally focus on the positive.  Imagine you are cut off in traffic, you could choose to get abusive and enter into a negative mind set – or you could silently say to yourself – I am grateful I am OK and then let go of the situation  .

So tomorrow morning just take a few minutes to start your day in gratitude xx

Super Hero Confidence Boost

Super Hero Confidence Boost

I was watching Greys Anatomy (yes still love it) and prior to commencing surgery one of the doctors stood like a superhero – hands on hips, chest out and head held high.  You could sense the power she was producing and receiving from the universe…yah a new tool for me to use and share !

So the very next day I tried it, just for a few minutes – I could feel the power and confidence AND I could feel myself connecting with me, stripping away the distractions and the real me stepping forward. Wow this works – who knew !

Being a left brainer, I did some research and found a TED talk from Amy Cuddy a Social Psychologist who  has done experiments on this very subject. Using control groups of Power poses and Lower poses Amy confirmed the subjects who adopted the Power poses had an increase in Testosterone, a decrease in Cortisol and were more likely to engage in higher risk activities – in the control group this was measured by a willingness to gamble (though not recommending the gambling in real life guys!).

Additionally they had the subjects complete interviews with a panel unaware of the experiment – in all cases the candidates chosen were those who had adopted the Power pose.

It doesn’t have to be a Superman / Wonder woman pose, however I find these fun and that is an added bonus, adopt a  pose that means power to you and note how you feel.

Feel the increase in Power, Confidence, Passion, Presence, Optimism, Enthusiasm, ability to think abstractly and the real YOU shining through !

We have all heard of Fake it to you make it – this is about Fake it to you BECOME it.

Really useful prior to a job interview, public speaking or any event you would like to feel more confident and in control – take a few minutes and go somewhere private and stand like Superman, soak in the feeling and walk TALL into the event.  Be proud to be you !

Give it a go – would love to  hear any feedback 

Values

By becoming clear on your values and practicing them daily you will reconnect with your authentic self

Passion

What makes your heart sing ? This is where you need to be spending more of your time

Inner Strength

Build your self esteem, resiliance and expand your comfort zone. You are stronger than you think

Purpose

When you have opened your heart, living true to your values and following your passions your purpose will become clear