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Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams

Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams

Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams

I have heard this saying many times, in fact, did you know there is a second part….

 Advance confidently in the direction of your dreams, FOR THEY KNOW THE WAY !

Interesting concept isn’t it?

May I share my experience with you to explain…..

Recently I have been dreaming of a cosy little home in the country.

Step 1 Visualise your dreams

So like every good house hunter, we wrote a wish list:
3 bedrooms with the main bedroom at the back, open plan, cosy feel, no wasted space, close to shops and low maintenance yard.

For those who know the law of attraction, we were creating the energy vibration for it to materialise.

Step 2 Move forward in the direction of your dreams

We commenced our property hunt, tentative at first looking at existing properties but nothing ticked all the boxes. At times, it felt like we were playing a game. Were we serious with this hunt or had it become a hobby to go to open houses ?

Over the months we stopped a few times and decided to stay where we are. But the feeling, the yearning just didn’t go away.

Randomly one night (synchronicity ) I found a house plan we both love, could we really be considering going through a build process again?

So we started looking for land. We thought we had found the block, the price was acceptable (as acceptable as Sydney prices can be) but between my partner and I, we just couldn’t make the decision to put an offer in. Something just didn’t feel right – on paper it ticked most of the boxes, but we kept finding reasons not to do it.  Was this fear kicking in, or was it not the right place?

Over the next few weeks I would drive by the land, the inevitable happened the SOLD sign went up. I was devastated, was this the end of the dream ?

Step 3 Don’t give up

We stopped again for a few weeks. Then we heard about an area that wasn’t on our radar, was it worth considering? The sales office sat at the top of hill overlooking beautiful rolling green hills with cows happily grazing. This felt like paradise, in fact it felt like I had come home.

Now my heart was already invested, but my mind well that was a different story. Was it too far out, can we afford it, should we leave the amenities of the suburbs and on and on my mind rattled…

It took a few weeks and a few sleepless nights but then we did it – we bought a block of land and we are moving to the country !!!

Could it really be possible that my dream knew the way and we just needed to keep moving forward to find it. I truly believe this to be the case, as all our wish list and more will be ticked. For this I am forever grateful x

I cannot stress enough the importance of moving forward, it is one thing to have a dream but YOU MUST take forward action to achieve it, otherwise it will only ever be a dream.

So to summarise:
1) Visualise the dream – write a list, create a vision board, visualise it in your mind
2) Keep moving forward in the direction of your dream and trust you will be guided in the right direction
3) Don’t give up
4) Give thanks 

The one condition I place on this is – the dream must be for your higher good and cannot harm yourself or others.

So my friends, dare to dream, and by god , dare to take the action required to make your dream come true.

Until we meet again
Jenny xx

 

Avoidance tactics

Avoidance tactics

As a trained life coach I feel a certain obligation to have my life sorted out…

I struggled with this for a long time and to be perfectly honest I still do. So what do I do….I find things to get distracted by, avoidance tactics – perfect excuse – I am so busy over here that I don’t need to deliver as a coach and surely no one would expect me to under the circumstances. Perfect I have bought myself some more time

Now I certainly don’t recommend this course of action as the results well they simply don’t work. Yes I get a certain sense of satisfaction from achieving on other fronts, BUT in the back of my mind I know I am repeating that same negative behavior and setting myself up to fail yet again! Or at the very least to stay in the holding pattern.

So what to do ?

Firstly it is important I acknowledge the avoidance tactics I am using. One thing I am good at is making myself busy, it is amazing how I can fill my day in with goodness knows what – but wow am I busy!  So this is my first change – I am establishing a daily habit of quiet time, reintroducing self care.  Meditating and reading coach appropriate books to inspire me.

Now the cynic in me suggests this could be another avoidance tactic – indeed it may be however these new habits support my coaching as opposed to sabotaging it.

The other thing I am doing is challenging my perfectionist traits – I don’t need to know everything (simply not possible) and I acknowledge that sometimes I may well fail (ugh!).  I am actually going to use this as a bit of a mantra – so in the positive ” I am stepping outside my comfort zone ready or not!

So these simple changes I have made don’t cost anything except my time and I am so worth my own time.

Can you see where you could make some simple changes in your life to support your goals and dreams ?

Take the first step …….you are so worth it !

xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is the universe leaving you breadcrumbs ?

Is the universe leaving you breadcrumbs ?

Is it possible the Universe leaves breadcrumbs for us to follow ?

The other day I experienced what many may call a coincidence….

I was standing at the checkouts at our local Toysrus store bright and early just after 8am to take advantage of their new catalogue, there was a woman in front of me who made a purchase and we both asked the checkout operator about loyalty points. Anyway I digress, the point is I took notice of this woman and remembered what she looked like and then went about my day.

Around 1.30pm I popped down to a Target store which is about 15 minutes away from the Toysrus store – note this was about 5 hours later and in an area with over 200,000 residents and guess what – in front of me at the checkouts was the same lady !!!!

At first I thought this is a tad weird, but think about it…we both went our separate ways in the morning and somehow we ended up at exactly the same place twice -what are the chances ?

So was there something more to this coincidence ?

I believe it was to remind me that while things appear to happen randomly there is order to the universe and there will be breadcrumbs left for me…..I just have to be willing to follow the breadcrumbs.

So the universe has successfully captured my attention – I am open and waiting for my next breadcrumb  

Footnote:  I have just realised there was another breadcrumb left for me the day previously…I am currently searching for my birth father’s family and was at my first appointment with an adoption resource centre and when asked about my birth fathers details  I realised it would have been his 80th birthday on that very day. I could have had this appointment any day but randomly (?) was scheduled for this day…another breadcrumb to say I am on the right path.

 

 

 

 

 

When will you be happy ?

When will you be happy ?

When will you be happy ?

Over the years I have sacrificed my current day happiness for future happiness……tied to some future event that when it happens will make life wonderful! 

This is a game many of us play – when I loose the excess weight, when I change jobs, when I buy a home etc etc and then I will be happy! How good this will feel and you tell yourself it is worth going without now so you can have this happiness later and of course it will be exhilarating!

Problem is I kept changing the goal posts.

I found there was an initial rush of happiness but it didn’t last and I was left deflated and annoyed at myself – did I pick the wrong goal yet again !  More often than not I would quickly find a new goal and again delay the happiness until that too was achieved, my God when was I going to get it right!

There is a saying that used to irritate me no end “It’s the journey not the destination that’s important” I reckon I could have debated this with a pretty solid argument, there was a time I actually thought it was a typo.

In my 50’s I finally get it, hallelujah and boy I wish I could talk to my 20 something self and impart this knowledge.

You see we have free choice and we can choose how we feel and act on any given day.

So now I choose to be happy EVERYDAY…I embrace the moments that make life beautiful from the morning cuppa to the soft pillow at night.

So to my 20 something self, by all means reach for the goals but don’t delay your happiness for another minute, take time out of your busy day and enjoy the moments BE HAPPY!

Think about this ….2 couples were moving to the same country town. The first couple were excited about their new adventure and the prospect of making new friends, the second couple dreaded the move and knew they wouldn’t have anything in common with the people in town. After a few months it was obvious their experiences were exactly as they thought they would be – you have the power to choose !

7 Day Challenge

Over the next 7 days I have some challenges for you……READY TO PLAY ?

Challenge Day 1 – Let’s kick off with some fun  

Let loose and do your HAPPY DANCE !

Go on, you know you want to!

No rules apply, that’s the fun – dance like a dag, or dance like a ballerina. Let down you inhibitions and MOVE !

Day 1 Happy Dance

Day 1 Happy Dance

Challenge Day 2 – Time to be still

Today aim NOT to fill every minute with something happening, be it tv, internet, facebook or even chatting with friends face to face (which is great don’t get me wrong!). However I would like you to sit in silence for as long as you are comfortable with and be with the most important person YOU !

If you meditate do this, otherwise focus on your breathing and just be in the moment.

Day 2 hold the silence

Day 2 hold the silence

Challenge Day 3 – Let your inner child play  

Sometimes we are caught up in our adult world and risk forgetting the real you.

So today let’s cast our minds back to your childhood- what made your heart sing!

Was it colouring in, building a fort, skipping rope, playing dressup, going to the park….or is there something new that you have been wanting to play !

Let your inner child out today….even it is just a daydream let yourself play.

Day 3 Inner child

Day 3 Inner child

Challenge Day 4 – Perform an act of kindness  

Some time today consciously aim to do an act of kindness for someone, without expecting anything in return.

This may be opening a door for someone, a warm smile, a kind word – be spontaneous and let your heart reach out and connect with others. Your small act may be all they need to brighten their day x

Day 4 Act of kindness

Day 4 Act of kindness

Challenge Day 5 – Quiet Reflection

Today reflect on an episode in your life where you may have struggled.

While this may bring up emotion aim to go past this and analyse the lessons learned, embrace this knowledge.

One of my earliest memories is being put on a train as a 6 year old without any family members to go to a city hospital for 4 months. I was overwhelmed with a sense of lose, bewilderment and abandonment….on reflection the lessons learned from this experience are my strength, resilience and independence. While I may still get lost in the experience there is the opportunity to step back and acknowledge the lessons.

Trust me I don’t underplay these experiences they are very traumatic however we do have the opportunity to learn and grow from them.

Be kind to yourself

Day 5 Quite Reflection

Day 5 Quite Reflection

Challenge Day 6 – Step outside your comfort zone

Today take that first step outside your comfort zone – you will be amazed at what’s out there !

Check out my previous blog on this very subject https://reconnectlifecoaching.com.au/outside-my-comfort-zone/

Day 6 Step outside your comfort zone

Day 6 Step outside your comfort zone

Challenge Day 7 – See the beauty

This is a nice one 

As you go about your day actually take time to SEE… we are often on automatic and don’t stop to focus – today aim to SEE the beauty of life.

This may be in a loved one’s features, your own body, a pet, a tree everything has beauty you just have to be willing to SEE IT….and the bonus you will FEEL it too.

God Bless and thank you for doing our first 1 week challenge. I hope you enjoyed it

Day 7 see the beauty

Day 7 see the beauty

Bookmarks in your mind

Bookmarks in your mind

In any day there are thousands of thoughts and experiences your mind is exposed to, however only some of these appear to be retained for easy reference. The rest are no doubt filed away in a deep part of our mind yet certain memories appear to be front of mind for easy reference….these are what I call bookmarks.

I have long been fascinated with this, why are certain things bookmarked ?

My belief is these bookmarks are lessons to remember or breadcrumbs to finding your path, some may be both.

I am not talking about life changing events which will definitely be cataloged in your mind
I will save these for another day  ), I am talking about those  small memories which we hold onto and reference when applicable.

Let me randomly pick some of my bookmarks and the reasons why:

  • Serving a neighbor at a bank and not recognizing or acknowledging them. To remind myself to SEE others as individuals and not as numbers.
  • Walking down the driveway at my Nana’s house in complete and total darkness. Invokes feelings of trust that all will be OK, indeed a sense of protection. This is one of my most used bookmarks.
  • I was around 14 and attempting to meditate for the first time (and actually I think the last time for many years) and realising that just for a moment or two I had quietened my mind.  To innocently remember it is possible to quieten my mind.
  • Another childhood memory was reading a passage from the bible at church, I can remember how natural and confident I felt. When I am on my path I will have the confidence.
  • Buying a soft serve ice cream at Coles Variety store and remembering the girl who served me. Years later our paths crossed again and we became close friends, did my soul know this the first time we met?

The interesting thing is, these bookmarks / memories are so vivid – it is like watching a movie in my mind. Take the last one for example, I am sure I bought many ice creams from Coles but I cannot remember any other time..so why this one ?

Ok I am going spiritual for a moment…come with me if you desire otherwise skip ahead .
Is it possible there are some small ( and big )  things that we experience that are non-negotiable that help direct us in this lifetime. In fact did we agree to these and even had a hand in planning them before we came into this body ? Are these checkpoints or course corrections and is it our soul that recognises and bookmarks them!

Do you have memories that play like a movie in your mind at just the right time ?
These are your bookmarks, what are they telling you ?

From my heart to yours
Jenny xx

The value of Communication

The value of Communication

Communication is one of my pet subjects

Many years ago I had a speech impediment and communication was a challenge, in my mind the words appeared perfectly however delivery was an issue  . At times I found it easier not to talk, I was quiet and withdrawn making it hard to build relationships.

Looking back I am grateful for the lessons learned…. acceptance, tolerance, forgiveness, perseverance and experiencing people who do not judge. 

I also learned the value of communication to build relationships !

Speaking , listening and the written word allows us to make CONNECTIONS with others….

In my humble opinion there are 5 levels of communication:

1) Small talk – When you are out and about, a quick chat with the checkout operator or the stressed parent and child. It is validation you see them in that moment…sometimes it’s as simple as “have a nice day” – it may be your comments that turn their day around !

2) General – Work colleagues and general acquaintances you talk to in a little more depth  for example about the TV show last night, what you did on the weekend etc, over time by sharing these stories you build rapport and become comfortable with each other.

3) Trusted – This is with family and  close friends, you let them see YOU by sharing your hopes, dreams, highs and lows. Conversations flow easily and you are able to have difference of opinions without holding grudges (most of the time anyway!).

4) Intimate – Possibly with your partner, best friend or Mum/Dad,  you are at your most vulnerable and trust is paramount – you share almost everything leading to a deep and meaningful relationship – this person knows, accepts and acknowledges YOU !

5) Just for me  – We all have things that are just for me, our inner inner most thoughts where you are 100% vulnerable, you may be able to trust another at this level however I feel there is always a part we keep for ourselves. This is where keeping a journal, meditating and quite reflection is helpful to reconnect with self…..

I would encourage you to openly communicate to build AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS !  

It goes without saying (well almost because I am saying it  ) that how you deliver your communication is important.

  • Be aware of your words, delivery and tone – watch for arrogance, aggression or apathy in your speech
  • Give them your full attention
  • Remember communication is a 2 way street, ask relevant questions & make comments
  • Contribute to the conversation, let them see who YOU are
  • Try to remember key points for next time you chat
  • If it is not a suitable time to talk, tell the other person and ask if you can catch up later and suggest a time to suit both of you


Confession Time:

Ok confession is good for the soul….

I have a healthy respect for the power of the written word HOWEVER up until 12 months ago I had dismissed Facebook as being a valid communication tool, admittedly I had never used Facebook but I believed it to be technology overload.  

Well I admit I was wrroonnngg….I now acknowledge the benefits of Facebook to stay connected with your Friends – again I would not suggest sharing you innermost thoughts but it is another way of saying…I see you !

Until next time
Jenny xx

Who am I ?

Who am I ?

Who am I – these are such powerful and intimate words !

To be yourself, in a world that tries, night and day, to make you just like everybody else – is to fight the greatest battle there ever is to fight and never stop fighting. E E Cummings

I encourage you to stop for a moment and remember a time when you felt fully alive and excited !

This can be on many different levels, there are the life stopping moments and then the day to day moments….let’s focus on the day to day for starters.

For me, walking down the paint aisle in the hardware store makes me excited, why you may ask ? Well one of my core passions is creativity, so when I am creative I am being ME, I get in the zone, my energy levels increase and I am motivated.

Now flip this around, when I am doing something that is not my passion – let’s say cooking – I am not motivated nor do I enjoy the process.  As cooking is basically a necessity I suck it up and cook, however I would not choose to cook for pleasure – safe to say you won’t be seeing me on MasterChef or MKR.

So think about it, what makes your heart sing ?

Start incorporating these into your every day life – at least weekly ! While I don’t paint every week, I express my creativity through my website, watching renovation shows and writing my blog.

It is time to Reignite YOU !

I will leave you with another of my favorite quotes…Be yourself – everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde.

 

Gratitude

Gratitude

How do you feel when  you wake up in the morning ?

Do you feel like throwing the alarm out the window, do you want to stay in bed and shut the world out ???

Let’s change this with a simple 5 minute exercise.

When you wake up tomorrow morning firstly be grateful that you have woken up to share another  beautiful day and then think about 3 things that your are grateful for in your life right now.

You may be surprised to realise the things you are grateful for are very simple – the song playing on the radio, the briskness of the morning air, a great nights sleep  .

It really is how you choose to look at things !

Find a way to be grateful for what you have in your life right now !

These are  mine for today (note you can choose to use...I am grateful or I am thankful or I give thanks, whatever feels natural to you!):

1. I give thanks for the rainy weather that reminds me of my home town
2. I am grateful to spend the day with my grand child
3. I am thankful to have a blog where I can share my thoughts

After practicing this for a while you will start to see a shift in the way you look at things – instead of focusing on the negative you will naturally focus on the positive.  Imagine you are cut off in traffic, you could choose to get abusive and enter into a negative mind set – or you could silently say to yourself – I am grateful I am OK and then let go of the situation  .

So tomorrow morning just take a few minutes to start your day in gratitude xx

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Values

By becoming clear on your values and practicing them daily you will reconnect with your authentic self

Passion

What makes your heart sing ? This is where you need to be spending more of your time

Inner Strength

Build your self esteem, resiliance and expand your comfort zone. You are stronger than you think

Purpose

When you have opened your heart, living true to your values and following your passions your purpose will become clear